Dans le train with our miracle (pregnancy mentioned)

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As I write this, tears are rolling down my cheeks.  Tears of joy and amazement as I gaze down at my growing belly and feel the occasional gentle kick.  On Friday, I will be 20 weeks pregnant following our final frozen embryo transfer of our 5th IVF cycle.  It has been a very long road and my pregnancy has not been without some major worries, but I am overwhelmed with gratitude to finally be carrying our baby.  I am eagerly awaiting our anatomy scan next week and am trying to find peace with my mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension.  When my mom was pregnant with me, she had a toucan pin and used the phrase “you can toucan” for encouragement.  We bought these little booties after the heartbreak of our failed IVF4 and every so often I would pull them out of the closet and dream about pudgy baby feet to fill them.  Little by little it feels like this dream is finally coming true.

I think of you, my fellow bloggers often, especially of those of you who are still in the trenches of infertility.  I am holding you in my thoughts and am sending light and hope your way.

Une proposition de loi pour plus de DPI — Association de patients de l’AMP et de personnes infertiles.

Le professeur René Frydman nous a informé du dépôt, le 16 novembre, d’une proposition de loi par des députés socialistes. Cette proposition concerne l’élargissement de l’utilisation du diagnostic préimplantatoire. Ce DPI ne peut, à l’heure actuelle, être réalisé qu’en cas de maladie génétique avérée que les parents ne souhaitent pas transmettre à leurs futurs enfants. […]

via Une proposition de loi pour plus de DPI — Association de patients de l’AMP et de personnes infertiles.

TTC Mug Exchange 2016. — Starbucks, Peace, and the Pursuit of a Baby

It’s time for our 2016 TTC Mug Exchange! Wooohooooo! Last time we had nearly 800 ladies participate and it was a BLAST! All women in all phases of infertility (trying to conceive, pregnant, adopting, new moms, etc… more details on this below!) are invited to participate.I absolutely LOVE how all of these women come together to support one […]

via TTC Mug Exchange 2016. — Starbucks, Peace, and the Pursuit of a Baby

The little embryo or/and oocyte, or/and spermatozoid, or/and uterus? that couldn’t quite

I knew our beta on Wednesday was a little low, but I tried to hold onto hope even though my gut feeling was telling me otherwise.  A couple tear and sobs escaped yesterday, but today I feel essentially numb.  I never imagined our battle with infertility would be this painful and complicated.  I never fathomed we would go through 4 full IVF cycles, only to be left with empty arms and heavy hearts.  We have not come to the end of the road on our journey towards growing our family, but the road ahead has suddenly become immeasurably more complicated.  I feel like we have been abandoned at a fork in the road, with no map or directions and a multitude of paths to choose from, not knowing how many of them might run into dead ends.  We are not ready to give up, but we don’t know how much more we can handle nor where to devote the precious energy and hope that we have left.

I think I can, I think I can…

Little PajIMG_4137arito is trying hard to make his/her little nest in my uterus.  The gynecologist recommended adding a little progesterone today to give my body a helping hand, since my progesterone level came back a bit low.  We know we have a long way to go, but are holding onto hope while we wait for Beta #2 on Friday (10dp5dt).

P.S. Merci Ptbichon et La Boutique des Idées Fertiles pour ce petit penguin tout mignon.  Il attend ce jour depuis de longs mois au fond de mon tiroir à chaussettes.