Our Beta on Monday was negative, bringing our IVF ICIS 1 to a close. Needless to say it’s been a rough week. My defense mechanism has been to focus all of my energy on IVF #2. I’ve ended up spending hours and hours online trying to find potential answers and possible solutions. I know it’s really unhealthy for me to isolate myself in front of my computer screen, but I have a difficult time stepping back and letting go. We have our WTF appointment on Dec. 23rd and I feel like I need to be proactive because I’m nervous that my RE will not have taken the time to really reflect on our case with her hectic schedule, questionable memory, and hundreds of patients. I know it’s still relatively early on in this whole IVF process, but it feels like it’s been an eternity. And I don’t want to get to IVF#4 and realize that we really should have done this or that exam or treatment earlier.
I’m going to try to end this post on a positive note. We went to get our Christmas tree on Sunday. My HPT had come up negative and I needed something to cheer me up. We decided to go by bike because there was a big festival in our city and parking was a nightmare. Our 3.5km tree expedition was a bit silly/rediculous, but made lots of people smile along the way (which is no easy feat in France 😉 ) and our cheerful little tree is helping to lift our spirits.