No miracles for 2013

Our Beta on Monday was negative, bringing our IVF ICIS 1 to a close.  Needless to say it’s been a rough week.  My defense mechanism has been to focus all of my energy on IVF #2.  I’ve ended up spending hours and hours online trying to find potential answers and possible solutions.  I know it’s really unhealthy for me to isolate myself in front of my computer screen, but I have a difficult time stepping back and letting go.  We have our WTF appointment on Dec. 23rd and I feel like I need to be proactive because I’m nervous that my RE will not have taken the time to really reflect on our case with her hectic schedule, questionable memory, and hundreds of patients.  I know it’s still relatively early on in this whole IVF process, but it feels like it’s been an eternity.  And I don’t want to get to IVF#4 and realize that we really should have done this or that exam or treatment earlier.

I’m going to try to end this post on a positive note.  We went to get our Christmas tree on Sunday.  My HPT had come up negative and I needed something to cheer me up.  We decided to go by bike because there was a big festival in our city and parking was a nightmare.  Our 3.5km tree expedition was a bit silly/rediculous, but made lots of people smile along the way (which is no easy feat in France 😉 ) and our cheerful little tree is helping to lift our spirits.

Tiny elevator and bike + big tree photo-9

8 thoughts on “No miracles for 2013

  1. Your tree is so cute!! And love the bike pictures! 2013 was the worst year ever. It has to finish quickly and without causing more pain. I hope 2014 will be the year! But the I say thay every year.
    I did thr very same thing after the first IVF. I think it’s normal to try and understand and also rebuild some hope. I hope your appointment will be helpful. And also that you will have a good physical and mental rest over the holidays. Big hug!!


  2. So sorry to hear about your failed cycle….I hope cycle #2 is wildly successful! 2014 is a new year, and hopefully the year for you guys!! Best of luck moving forward, I know it must be tough. On a lighter note your Christmas tree is adorable, and I love that you picked it up via bike….too cute, sounds fun!


  3. I’m so sorry, that really sucks. 😦 😦 I definitely think it’s a good idea to do some “detective work” before you launch into IVF #2. I think that, like you said, with crammed IF clinics and doctors trying to squeeze more and more patients into a given day, it’s easy to believe or assume that something will get missed. I’m feeling the pressure myself as an over 35 candidate…good luck!


    • Sorry for the very late reply. We’ve been exploring some different diagnostic tests for uterine receptivity over the past couple months. For the moment I’ve just done a normal biopsy that dates the lining. Mine looks like it is a bit behind, so we’ll probably move on to more extensive tests like the ERA (Endometrial Receptivity Array) if our upcoming IVF isn’t successful. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way for your journey.


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