I knew our beta on Wednesday was a little low, but I tried to hold onto hope even though my gut feeling was telling me otherwise. A couple tear and sobs escaped yesterday, but today I feel essentially numb. I never imagined our battle with infertility would be this painful and complicated. I never fathomed we would go through 4 full IVF cycles, only to be left with empty arms and heavy hearts. We have not come to the end of the road on our journey towards growing our family, but the road ahead has suddenly become immeasurably more complicated. I feel like we have been abandoned at a fork in the road, with no map or directions and a multitude of paths to choose from, not knowing how many of them might run into dead ends. We are not ready to give up, but we don’t know how much more we can handle nor where to devote the precious energy and hope that we have left.