Dans le train with our miracle (pregnancy mentioned)

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As I write this, tears are rolling down my cheeks.  Tears of joy and amazement as I gaze down at my growing belly and feel the occasional gentle kick.  On Friday, I will be 20 weeks pregnant following our final frozen embryo transfer of our 5th IVF cycle.  It has been a very long road and my pregnancy has not been without some major worries, but I am overwhelmed with gratitude to finally be carrying our baby.  I am eagerly awaiting our anatomy scan next week and am trying to find peace with my mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension.  When my mom was pregnant with me, she had a toucan pin and used the phrase “you can toucan” for encouragement.  We bought these little booties after the heartbreak of our failed IVF4 and every so often I would pull them out of the closet and dream about pudgy baby feet to fill them.  Little by little it feels like this dream is finally coming true.

I think of you, my fellow bloggers often, especially of those of you who are still in the trenches of infertility.  I am holding you in my thoughts and am sending light and hope your way.

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24 thoughts on “Dans le train with our miracle (pregnancy mentioned)

  1. I am so happy for you… you deserve this miracle, congratulations! Do you want to know the gender (maybe you already know?). Welcome dans le train… 😭❤️🎈

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    • Thank you Carotte! How are you and your two little ones doing? I loved reading your beautiful blog post from December. We haven’t decided if we want to know the gender or be surprise at the birth. Before I got pregnant, my husband and I both had a preference for a specific gender, but now that I’m pregnant we have no preference at all. And funny enough my husband, who always said he thought he’d want to know the gender of the baby, told me last night he didn’t think he wanted to find out just yet. We’ll see how things go for our ultrasound this afternoon. Bises à toi et aux petits

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      • Oh 😲 you have an ultrasound today!!! I think it’s magical to wait… with two babies it was impossible not to know (even though, I am too curious 😋🤣). But who knows, if we décide to try for a third miracle, maybe we’ll wait… this si Your morpho today?! (I don’t know how to translate it, my IVF and pregnancy english is quite bad 😩). Do you feel the baby mooving?
        Soon I will write about my miracles. Finger crossed for this afternoon 🍀 take care 😘

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  2. Awww!!!
    The article you wrote a few months back about your friends stealing your name stayed with me and I’ve been thinking about you now and then, hoping for a happy end. I’m so glad to finally read it happened! Congrats to you both, it’s just so great! Enjoy the ride!

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    • Thank you! Those same friends called last night to share about celebrating their 3rd anniversary since meeting each other as their little 16-month-old babbled in the background. My husband and I turned to each other after they hung up and let out a sigh of relief that this little baby growing inside me has already helped mellow the pain of the past 6+ years. We were actually able to laugh about the contrast of us being together for almost 16 years and married for 8. I hope your return to work is going as smoothly as possible for you and your little sangsue. xoxo

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    • Dear P’tit Hérisson, in the beginning I definitely felt victorious that after all these years I was finally pregnant and now it feels more like a blessing as I move father into this pregnancy. I have been thinking about you a great deal recently and about your beautiful rainbow baby. I can only imagine the energy and strength it must take to process all of this, while adjusting to living in a new country and culture. I am holding on to so much hope for you and sending you heaps of supportive hugs.

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      • So our babies are a year apart, it s difficult to be confined in winter but marvelous to enjoy spring with a baby growing up.
        Elles sont adorables, même malades (vive les vacances à l étranger ds les pays chauds climatisés), ce sont des charmes. Enjoy your smooth pregnancy! Kiss

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    • Dearest Kalyz, it is still at times hard to believe that the tide (la marée) is finally turning after all these years, but I am little but little letting it carry me away and fill my sails with newfound energy and hope. You are one of my blogging buddies that I think of the most. I love reading about your music making and traveling adventures. I do think it would be fun to some day be able to play a violin/cello duet together (maybe at a future BAMP event?). Sending you armfuls of hugs

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