As I write this, tears are rolling down my cheeks. Tears of joy and amazement as I gaze down at my growing belly and feel the occasional gentle kick. On Friday, I will be 20 weeks pregnant following our final frozen embryo transfer of our 5th IVF cycle. It has been a very long road and my pregnancy has not been without some major worries, but I am overwhelmed with gratitude to finally be carrying our baby. I am eagerly awaiting our anatomy scan next week and am trying to find peace with my mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension. When my mom was pregnant with me, she had a toucan pin and used the phrase “you can toucan” for encouragement. We bought these little booties after the heartbreak of our failed IVF4 and every so often I would pull them out of the closet and dream about pudgy baby feet to fill them. Little by little it feels like this dream is finally coming true.
I think of you, my fellow bloggers often, especially of those of you who are still in the trenches of infertility. I am holding you in my thoughts and am sending light and hope your way.